Getting better!

Thanks to prayers, I am soo grateful and glad to say we are slowly getting better. Jack is still getting suctioned out every day, but Eamonn's cold is gone and I have been able to actually get off the couch. 


Today I was able to do all of the dishes, bathe the boys, play with eamonn, make dinner, AND clean up afterwards. I seriously am so proud of myself! And more than anything, I am grateful that through the power of prayer and the priesthood, this has been made possible. :)

I am so grateful! 

Thank you!

Hanging in there..

I know that every post starts out like this, but it's true!

These last few months have really, really, REALLY been trying on our family! Sometimes I feel dumb for being such a baby because I know that there are people who are suffering more than I and probably look at my trials and think, "What a whimp!" But these struggles are legitimate for me!

Eamonn has been sick with a cold virus the last two weeks and despite my best efforts, Jack caught whatever he had. To make things better, he not only caught it, but it is RSV. We were in the ER two nights ago where they did chest x-rays sinus suctioning and all of that fun stuff. My poor babies. It is so hard for me to see them suffer. :(

For every complaint I put on here, I am going to put something I am grateful for:
My amazing husband and daddio were able to give Jack a beautiful priesthood blessing that increased my faith in my Savior's healing power and my Heavenly Father's wisdom and outlook on things that I do not understand.

Lately I have felt like crap. Not physically, but mentally. I have been so depressed. Every small task seems like a huge project. Bathing the kids, doing the dishes, grocery shopping, waking up, getting out of bed, getting dressed! etc. I feel like I am not even able to enjoy these fleeting moments of Jack's infancy. We have spent a lot of time at the hospital lately getting Jack suctioned (two to three times a day) and without a fail someone tells me, "Enjoy every second of this! You are going to miss this believe it or not!" It's as if these so called "great moments" are mocking me. I really don't think that it is possible for me to be grateful for these moments right now. I am just too miserable.

------Mason just called-----
The song "marry me" by train was on the radio and he just held his phone up to the car speaker. I just let the tears stream down my face because all I could think of was this weekend when his parents took the kids. We went to the temple to do sealings and I really had such a renued understanding of the power of the temple and of the importance of temple marriage. It impacted me so much to realize that Mason and I are in this together no matter what the situation, difficult or triumphant. Even though at this point in our lives we are really under a lot of stress, we have eachother to lean on. That song playing really was a tender mercy. We had slow danced in our room in candle light a few weeks ago when I was feeling better so it really meant a lot to me to hear it and to know that Mason was thinking about me.

I am feeling a little bit better than when I started writing all of this...

Eamonn is finally in bed and Mason just left to get Jack suctioned so he can sleep. P.S. another tender mercy, Jack slept through the night last night! Well, from 10 or 11pm - 6am. I'll take it. :) When I firsts got back from the hospital, I was seriously high as a kite! I had never done so well in my entire life. My house was immaculate, I played with eamonn, I fed him nutritious meals, I made dinners, I brought dinners over to my friends who were struggling, I went to play group, I planned meals, price matched, did all of the things I LITERALLY never have been able to do, and I had done it all with ease. I was in such a positive mood, I felt like Joan Clever (or whatever her name is...)

I have dropped very, very low now. I have noticed that when I am doing well, my entire family does well. When I am struggling, my entire family does. Mason struggles when he comes home to a messy house, screaming kids, a smelly, overwhelmed, grouchy wife, and no dinner. Eamonn can sense the stress too and has seriously turned into something I have never thought I would ever see in my sweet innocent angel. He is hitting, he is screaming, he is throwing himself on the ground at EVERY little thing. I really can't handle it. I have no patience for myself, not to mention this kid! and THAT is exactly what I am talking about with the whole missing out thing. Because I am so depressed and so overwhelmed, and he is teething (getting molars), sick, has a new brother, just stayed the weekend at a very spoiling grandma and grandpa's, it just has not been a good match!

On top of all of this JUNK, jack has gotten really sick! It really has just added up and added up. I want to pull my hair out and go jump of a freaking cliff! I know that God knows all, that now is a trial period in my life, and that I need to hold onto my faith. Sometimes it's just difficult not to doubt. It's difficult not to worry about how in the heck we are going to pay for all of the MORE medical bills that are accumulating on top of the delivery with these sick kids, what the smell is coming from our new van, how to have patience and understanding towards my toddler, etc.

O.K., now time for the gratefuls:
-Mason has a good, steady income that we can rely on to support us.
-We have medical insurance! So it could be worse. We are so blessed to be able to pay for the medical care we have received.
-We have modern medicine! If anything was to happen to Jack, the ambulance is just a phone call away! AND I am able to take mood stabilizers. This could be MUCH worse if I didn't meds.
-We have a van that we drive that takes us wherever we need (It even has a door that opens all by itself! yay!)
-We have an ABUNDANCE of support and love from friends and family. They are willing to help and care for us during our times of need.
-We have an eternal perspective. That to me is the most important. I can take a step back and know that all of this is in God's hands. He is in control. What a relief to know that, yet at the same time, what a pain because I want things done my way! ;)
-I have an eternal family
-I know my Savior and Heavenly Father personally and know that they know and love me.
-Prayer and scripture study get me through the day every day and I am grateful for those.
-We are healthy (nothing TOO fatal, just the crazies and RSV)

When upon lives billows you are tempest tossed, when you are discouraged thinking all is lost. Count your many blessings name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord has done!

If you are reading this, I would really appreciate your prayers. I know the Lord has His own will, but He still has unseen blessings that we may receive if there is enough faith, and if we will ask.

Like I said. This is a trying time for us and we might seem like pansies to others, but nonetheless, we would appreciate it.

Now, for more positives... PICTURES!

Eamonn, Feeding Abbie and Lucky! He drives me nuts because he is constantly throwing his food on the ground. If I didn't hate animals so much, I would get a dog,  JUST for this nice vacuuming feature!

Daddy and Jack Jack right after Jack's first bath at home.

First we bathed Eamonn, got him all lotioned up and everything, then we bathed Jack. All of the sudden I hear Mason giggling and I turn around and this is what we found. I guess we'll learn to drain the tub next time. lol

Oh, just havin' fun in the tub... what a stink! Seriously, this one keeps me on my toes!

Daddy's mission suit continued. I TRY (but don't always succeed) to get pics of the boys in daddy's mission suit   every so often until they're nineteen. :) We'll see how I keep up on it. 

Jack doesn't seem to pleased at this idea...

This is our makeshift nursery for Jack. It is our office, but for now it works! Daddy tries to read to Eamonn and Jack every night before bed. This was before they started getting sick. Now we just shove them in their beds. They're lucky if they are in their PJ's now! lol

Aunt Kathie saved our lives one night. She just so happened to come to our house on a night where we were pushed to our limits and dinner was not made. She ended up buying us burger king! It was JUST what the doctor ordered! Heavenly Father sent us our Aunt Kathie on purpose!

Eamonn CANNOT eat a meal without making a HUGE HUGE HUGE mess. This doesn't even show the floor which is officially ruined now. I was SOO tempted the other day to just start ripping up the carpet. I would like to PUNCH the genius who decided to put carpet in the kitchen and bathroom. Seriously.

Eamonn sometimes gets curious about this little "thing" that has inhabited our home. On our fourth or so day home, I got Eamonn up in the morning and we started the day as usual. All of the sudden, Jack started crying and Eamonn had this face of sheer terror. It was hilarious. It was literally a face of  "HE'S still here?!"

Finally hold enough to appreciate the snow! Please note the slimey  spit coming out of his mouth. :( Poor kid is teething.

So amazed by this "snow" stuff!

Amanda White's little baby girl. (One of them.. Cambria I believe..) So dainty and so darn obedient! She was nicely sitting on the porch waiting for her mommy to put her in the car. I am deep down hoping that they get a spit fire hellion like I have! ;)

Not the most flattering pic of Jack, BUT I wanted to show his thrush. It is SOOO bad in his mouth! Poor baby!

My tupperware all over the house.... the culprit found.

hahah I can't help but giggle at this little scavenger!

Checking out Jack. One of the few moments! I was soo glad to have my camera near by!

My sweet little Eamonn! Such a cheeser!

Snuggling up after bath time!

Mace and My date night at the "Star of India" restaurant in SLC

An authentic, cool little restaurant...

After a long car ride home, we went to get Eamonn out of the car, and this is what we found. hahahahah obviously he was sick of listening to us sing to the radio or something!

This is what I found today. Eamonn has been a complete picky eater lately. He will not eat ANYTHING!!! He chucks it all off the side of his high chair. It got kind of quiet and I went to check on Eamonn... this is what I found. I guess he just got too hungry and decided to eat peanut butter instead. All I could do was laugh and stick him in the bath tub.

Any left in there?

I think I got some on my hand... hmmmm..

I can't help but love this little guy, even though he tries my patience!

Getting ready to get into the bathtub!

Our precious baby Jack. We love him so much.

Family Photos By Sveta Nikiforova

We got our family pictures taken this last week and wow did they turn out great! I have been looking at other peoples blogs and they really are just a lot better if there are pictures. I get too bored with all of the writing. The Girl who took them is my ex-boyfriends wife. I know, kinda crazy, but I mean he dated me so that must mean that his wife is absolutely adorable right?! lol and truth is, she is more than that! They are both from Russia and working and getting an education here. Sveta (the photographer) is so amazing. I guess you'll see for yourself because a picture is worth a thousand words and obviously I can't even say that much about how much we loved the opportunity to work with her. I don't want to seem all commercial or anything like that, but I really do recommend her to anyone. They are young college students also so I KNOW they would appreciate the extra income. :) I know I would. lol Anyways. ..

Things lately in my life. Eamonn is sleeping right now which is a treat. :) He has been sick with some sort of virus that antibiotics can't cure. We took him  to the dr. and he said to keep him as far away from Jack as possible, because if Jack is to run anysort of fever, to bring to to the E.R. Again, the angels in my ward have really stepped up to help me. (I am so blessed to live here. Seriously.) Carla Moulder took Jack for 5 HOURS! and Eamonn for a couple while I went to the dr. to get my incision checked. And today, Loni Daniels has Jack Jack for me. Ugh I can't even explain how grateful I am for the relief society and the women in it.

Anyways, I will let you get to looking at our pictures. Here is a link to Sveta's FB page:

Svetlana Nikiforova Photography

Also, here is her email and website:

sveta.niki@gmail.com
http://www.wix.com/svetlananikiforova/photography

Enjoy!

These are some of our Newborn/Family pictures! Sveta (My ex-boyfriends wife.. lol) Took them for us. We were so excited because she was so sweet and willing to work with us financially, and especially because she has SUCH a beautiful eye for art.

Probably the best photo we got as a family. Ok, so I think i look good and that is all that matters. lol Mason looks incredible and Eamonn just looks Dopey. haha ah well.

These ones with me and Jack turned out GORGEOUS! It really is amazing how much you love your children. After all that sacrifice, how could I not?!

This LOOKS like a precious moment, but I really do not know how she got this picture. Eamonn could not sit still for a second! I know that he loves his little brother deep down, he just doesn't know it quite yet.

This one, we tried to make it look like he was chilling in the hot tub. 

This one has his name on it! :)

I LOVE this picture. Mostly because mason looks SO handsome. Such a strong jaw line. ow ow! I feel bad though cause it looks like I am strangling Jack Jack. 

Even after the kidlets, we still got it!

We make a pretty cute couple if I do say so myself. I really, truly love my husband, despite what I might say on this blog sometimes. We really are best friends. (Corny, I know, but it is true!)

Admiring my work. I did a good job if I do say so myself!

By this time, Jack had had it. No more being naked, no more bows, no more brothers poking him in the eye.. etc.

This is one of my favorites. Ditto to what i said before, but it also show his LOOOONG Chicken legs!Seriously, I have not seen a baby with such long legs! 

This really captures the essence of protection that only a father can give to his children. I.Love.It.

Still can't get Eamonn to look at the camera. To tell you the truth, I am a little self conscious of this pic because obvioiusly it was only 3 weeks after having a baby and the weight hasn't come off yet. Please also notice Mason. Really?! It's a miracle he hangs on to me. what a stud.

Typical. That's all I have to say.

This picture right here is the absolute story of our lives. It's almost  shows "Love got us into this mess, and love will get us through." Sometimes I ask myself.. "What were we thinking!? But we know that in the end, The Lord knows what will bring us the most happiness in this life, and if we have the faith to follow that, we will be the happiest. I have seen it over and over and over again in my life. That doesn't mean that I don't want to give up, drop the kids off at the orphanage or the city pound, and move to Jamaica at times though... lol

Eamonn running away from us with the broom. We couldn't get him to take anymore pictures after he found it.  So Sveta took advantage and took this picture. I think it shows his little personality. 

Eamonn loves his brother deep down inside... haha but for right now, he just gets in his way!

We could NOT get Eamonn to smile for the life of us!...

Still not...

Getting there...

FINALLY! SOME SMILEY PICS!

They really are best buds. Mace is SOOO Proud of his boys! He keeps saying that the odds of us having a boy that plays football are growing and that to him is priceless! 

I'm starting to see a pattern here.. WTF?! All of his smiley pics are with Mason! Ah well. By the end of the day, I'd rather him be best buddies with daddy anyways. lol

But when we FINALLY got a few pictures of him smiling and being that darling charmer we know him to be, the pictures turned out pretty darn cute! (Even though we think so even when he wouldn't smile.. it just shows his little stinker side to him!)

Sveta Really did an amazing job showing how much love a mother has for her infant. Being a mom can be so very difficult at times, but I would not give it up for the world. I am so blessed to have these little spirits in our home.

Jack was our Valentines day baby! He really was an emblem of our love and mine and  Mason's relationship blossomed after Jack came into our family.

This is the blanket we brought Jack home in. I made it for him in a hurry. I did the whole thing in two days because we knew he would be coming early.  :) I was so happy to bring him home in it!

This is the ring Mason got for me. Every time we have a baby, Mace buys me a ring that signifies the birth of the baby. This one is amythest (Feb. birthstone) with the big heart (mommy) and the little heart (Jack). The heart represents Valentines day, because that was when he was born!

Anyways, Even though the pictures are corny and make it seem like life is so darn fun and always peaches and roses, I want you to know that it is not! It is hard! But it is well worth it. It is the little moments that make it worth it. 

Holding hands with your best friend always knowing that he wants to hold yours too...

Cuddling, Caressing, Kissing and Loving on your husband :)

Leaning in to Eamonn saying, "Kissees?" and having him lean in and return the favor...

Watching Eamonn run around in his diaper, babbling to himself. 

Hearing those squeaks that only a newborn makes as they wake up and stretch out..

Singing Hymns and Primary songs to your baby as your snuggle him and rock him to sleep...

This is da life! Crazy, insane, tiring, irritating, splendid, exasperating, exhilarating, exhausting, and amazing.