Kids, Instruction Manual NOT included...

I would just like to ask how in the heck one is supposed to know how to raise a kid. If the world was fair and just, I would have delivered a baby, then the user's manual, then the placenta. BUUT no. God has a sense of humor apparently and I'm sure he laughs up there as he watches Mace and I scramble around trying to raise a child.

Experts have a lot to say about a lot of different things.. don't spank, don't do time out, don't say "no" too much, don't give them fast food, don't blah blah blah. Friends, family members, and random people I have no idea who they are, have their opinions on raising kids too. I'm just worried that by the time we get this whole raising kids thing down, ours are going to be so screwed up that there's no turning back! They will be obese because we feed them fast food and fruit juice instead of vegetables and filtered water; they will be entitled and have no respect for boundaries because I didn't make them take a bath before bed because I just couldn't handle the screaming; they will not know how to be considerate and loving because I didn't make them share their special toy with a friend at our house....

Juice, not water... My soon to be obese child.

Eamonn Keeping himself entertained at the grocery store... I'm sure everyone was thinking, "what kind of mom just lets her kid run around the store with a grocery cart like that!?" lol

What are you supposed to do when your one year old tells you "no" all the time?! I mean, he's just a kid and I figure he's just looking for a reaction, but then others say that is not acceptable and they need to know that you are the one in charge. Great. I'm going to raise a kid that has no respect for authority.

Ex: I have pulled that boy away from the garbage can thousands of times! I am sick of finding sippy cups and random household objects in there but I swear I have tried everything but beating his little bum to keep him away! "No" does not work, it only encourages him. Time outs are not showing great results, and just picking him up and moving him does not stop him from dumping his shoes into there! As I said. I am screwing my kid up. What about when he chucks his food across the house when he is done eating? Do I say, "NO NO!"? (This seriously only makes him do it more... he get's this look of sheer evil in his eyes that says, "oh yah old woman?! watch this.."  Do I say, "ok, all done with lunch!" and take his tray? (This seems to work best, but then I get comments from other people about how my kid is going to be spoiled rotten and will probably end up going to prison for assassinating the president of the United States or something horrendous like that..) Do i never feed the little terror again!? I just don't know.

Eamonn running around naked and destroying our DVD cabinet....

I know I am not going to spank, that's just not my thing, so I guess we're making progress right? Atleast I know what we are not going to do...

What about when he gets older and starts getting smarter and dare I say it? even naughtier!?

What about when the world is teaching him one thing about sex and Mace and I will need to teach what is the truth about it? Will I teach him the right way!? Will he respect women and see them as daughters of God rather than objects of lust? What will I need to do or say when he wants to date a girl? What about kissing girls?

Kids are just so difficult. What the heck were we thinking when we decided to bring another one into this world? I just feel bad for them more than I do for me because they are the ones who are going to have to deal with the repercussions of crazy, clueless parents.

Naked yet again (mom of the year award right here..) and playing on the laptop which we are CONSTANTLY trying to keep him away from... lol

Caught in the act of getting into Mommy's camera!

Hopefully they'll see that we tried our best. Hopefully Heavenly father won't allow us to screw them up too much. I know that we need to turn to the Lord for guidance in all things but sometimes I wonder if he cares about such trivial matters as discipline of a one year old? As I write I hear a whisper that yes, indeed he does. He will teach me how to teach each child the way that He knows they will do best. They are actually His children and they are just on loan to me.

That's pretty trusting of Heavenly Father if you ask me. He's letting these adorable little spirits come into our care so we can learn to love and be more like Him. That's a lot of trust and responsibility.

I guess it's just tough. Seeing the way your friends raise their kids, reading different books and magazines, hearing how your parents did it when you were a kid; one just never knows what is the right way. Is there even a right way?

As I write I am realizing that more than anything, I need not judge others and the way they have chosen to raise their kids. Who am I to say that their kids are too whiny or that they don't discipline enough, or they discipline too much? I'm pretty sure we are all in the same boat here. We all are kind of stumbling through the unknown territories of parenthood and all deserve some credit for actually attempting the seemingly impossible.

Promoting childhood obesity at Halloween. Eamonn LOVES candy. Can't blame him, so do I!

I used to see kids with muddy, grimy faces and boogery noses and think, "where is their mother? obviously she is extremely negligent and uncaring." or I would hear a kid crying in walmart and think, "would you do us ALL a favor and take that demon child of yours home?"
Now I know what it is like. I have been slapped in the face with the "reality of parenthood" stick and all I can say is, ouch. lol

I have been the mom who has been so tired from working, from cleaning, from juggling life, that giving my kid a bath hasn't been on top of the priority list for 3 days... I now can say that I have been the mom who doesn't even bother at times cleaning that nasty, crusty booger nose because I have done it fourty thousand times already today and my poor baby's nose is raw and bleeding from the constant tissue attacks from mommy caring too much about what other people are thinking. I have been the mom who just has to run into Walmart to grab a few last minute things for dinner, who's baby screams the ENTIRE time, up and down the aisles and throughout the 20 minute wait at the check out stand.

Getting into Birthday cupcakes just a little too early... 

All we could do was laugh and let him enjoy himself.

From now on, when I see a kid yelling "No!" to his mommy, or a mommy getting so upset at her kids in the middle of the grocery store that she just yells at them in frustration, instead of thinking, "oh my gosh. seriously? what kind of parent are they?" I am going to think... "poor woman. she deserves a bubble bath and a bag of snickers for her troubles."

White Trash parent who takes her kids places with just a diaper. Classy.

Here's a deal for all those who are reading this. I won't judge you if you don't judge me. ;) and if you are reading this and don't have kids of your own, give your own mother a hug and thank her for doing her best in raising you. I know I will and do every chance I can.

Again, eating sugar, with no clothes on. Will my child think that clothes are not necessary? My grandma always said that our kids were going to go on their first dates and take of their clothes because that's how they'd always done it... haha

Moral of the story, Kids are freaking hard to raise, don't judge the other moms out there who are trying their best, and The Lord will make sure you don't screw your kids up TOO much.

Letting Eamonn make a mess all over the place with a cookie, right before going into the grocery store, Again, Classy mom right here.

There are angels among us.

This last week has really thrown us for a loop. I went to my regular O.B. appointment when Dr. young pointed out that I looked like I was running small for being 32 weeks along. We scheduled an ultrasound for the next day and lo and behold, our little baby Jack was running around 2 weeks behind schedule in size. We were sent to  Maternal Fetal Medicine to have them do further investigation. After a long ultrasound, evaluating every aspect of the baby known to mankind (Distance between eyes, blood flow in the umbilical cord, etc.) they concluded that the baby's head and belly were indeed measuring small AND the amniotic fluids were really low. This indicates that the baby must not be getting nutrients he needs in order to continue growing and that the placenta is failing due to some unknown reason. They would start to do NST's (non stress tests) twice a week, and dopplers and ultrasounds once a week. The NST's measure the baby's heart rate, oxygen levels, fetal movements and contractions, the doppler measures the blood flow from the umbilical cord to the baby, and the ultrasound to measure fluid levels. They put me on strict bedrest to try and raise fluid levels but If there are any signs whatsoever of distress etc. on the baby during all of this, they will deliver him. They gave me 2 rounds of steroid shots just in case early delivery is necessary so that his little lungs will be developed and ready for the outside world.

This all came to a complete shock for me. I mean, I didn't show very much with Eamonn because I carried him mostly in my back and I had just figured that this must be kind of the same thing. I didn't know that it would be such a big deal. At first I was kind of excited to think I would deliver early but then it started to sink in just how dangerous that could be...

I held it all mostly inside, not letting even Mason know my true feelings on everything. To be honest, I didn't even let myself know my true feelings on everything. I didn't want to admit deep down that I could potentially lose this little life that I have created, grown, and carried for the last eight months. He is my son, my child, literally a part of me and I would be absolutely devastated if anything were ever to happen to him. I wouldn't even admit to my Father in Heaven my true feelings. I just caged them in, deep deep down in my heart because down there, they were safe. There was no chance of pain or disappointment because they were already protected and not even made known. Down there, I was not vulnerable. Down there I was strong.

I knew however, that although I was strong and safe down there, I wasn't happy. It wasn't the peaceful and free strong and safe. With my feelings and emotions buried deep, there was fear and doubt. No light or hope could reach me and due to past trials I knew that although it would hurt to tear down these stubborn walls of pride and fear, and put myself out in the open for my husband, myself, and my Heavenly Father to see, that I would be genuinely happier. I would indeed be vulnerable yet that is exactly what is needed in order to find peace. Humility equals peace and pride equals fear.

All that I could muster was to kneel down to my Father in Heaven in prayer begging to help me to have peace concerning His will. To help me find peace in knowing that I am his daughter and He loves me, and that Jack is His son and He knows what is best for him also.

We called over our home teacher to give us Priesthood Blessings, and although the natural man in me wanted to know the outcome, the spiritually refined man in me desired to have peace in The Lord's will, come what may. If the Lord sees fit that this little spirit receive his body for only a short period of time than so be it, if not, and He sees fit that baby Jack stays with our family temporally than so be that too. I just wanted peace. I wanted the fear, worry and doubts of the unknown future to be given to My Savior. It was a burden I no longer wanted to carry.

The blessing was extremely comforting and one thing that I feel impressed to share stood out to me:

- Just as the people of Limhi, the Lord did not take away their burdens, but He did make them light.

Mosiah 24:14

14: And I will also ease the burdens which are put opon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upono your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand a witnessess for me hereafter, and that you may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

15: And now itcame to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his bretheren were made light' year, the Lord did strenghten them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

- Do not feel as a burden to those around you, your trails are there for your benefit AND others. They are there to edify and purify you, but also those who choose to serve you. Listen to their advice and council, and you will be strengthened in their testimonies and they in yours.


Having been put on strict bedrest has really made me needy to the help of others. I can't clean, I can't cook, and worst of all, I can't care for my baby Eamonn. That honestly has been the ULTIMATE disappointment for me and the greatest trial so far. I want to be the one who is there for him when he wakes up from his naps, who plays with him and feeds him, who does all of those things that I had taken for granted before. I feel so hurt knowing that he may wonder why his mom isn't with him, and who all of these strange people are... It kills me knowing that he could be scared or afraid or even disappointed in me, all for something beyond my control.

Wednesday night I woke up with severe cramps in my stomach and really bad diarrhea, so I went to Labor and delivery the next morning just to be safe. . They ended up admitting me to the hospital and keeping me there over night due to extreme dehydration. Yet another speed bump. All that I could think of the entire time was, how much is this going to cost us? I just want to be at home with my husband and my baby Eamonn who I haven't seen hardly at all this week....


It was extremely difficult for me to make a schedule for OTHER people to come and care for me and my family. It really is a humbling experience. It just sucks knowing that I can't do it on my own, and if it wasn't for my baby Jack, I probably wouldn't do it. I have people cleaning my house, making me dinner, and taking Eamonn for me all day long. To be honest though, I have learned and come to a point where I no longer feel embarrassed, I just feel gratitude. Eternal gratitude that words cannot express.

On Monday, my neighbor took Eamonn for me in the morning, Amanda (White) came over and helped me clean my house and watched all three of our kids, and my mom brought over dinner for Mason and I. Tuesday, Kaylee again took Eamonn in the morning, Alyssa Bertele randomly showed up on my front porch with cleaning supplies and cooking supplies for dinner, my dad showed up and took Eamonn for me, Kelly Kennard showed up with dinner, and Brandon Doyle showed up with extra dinner that Rachel had made for us. Wednesday morning Kaylee AGAIN took Eamonn for me and Dani came over to watch Eamonn and keep me company, Thursday morning Kaylee AGAIN took Eamonn for me and Loni Daniels came over and got Eamonn, Friday, of course Kaylee again took Eamonn, (And helped me break into my house after getting locked out again), Malia Siufunuah took Eamonn all night, and sweet, kind, amazing sister madsen cleaned my house, made me dinner, shoveled our walks and even trimmed our hedges. 

I truly feel as if my burdens have been made lighter and not even as painful or difficult as they could or should be, due to the love of my Heavenly Father, working through angels in my life. People I don't even know that well have pitched in to help us in our time of need. I feel humbled, I feel grateful, I feel blessed. Dare I say that I am grateful for this trial? Yes. One thousand percent yes. I have seen the Lord's hand so plainly in the last week and I want to witness to all who are reading that the Lord DOES care and that he does work through angels here on earth.

Although I have no idea what the outcome will be, I have faith that the Lord does. I do have moments of fear when I let my mind wander into the possible outcomes, but I am doing the best I can to know that the Lord is watching out for our family. I am grateful for the Angels that he has sent to me in my life. I only hope that I one day too can be as amazing as any one of the many people who have taken their time out of their day to help bear our burdens.

I really think that Alabama knows what they are talking about when they sing the song "Angels among us"... I just thought I'd post a video that I found on youtube for that song.. It's really, really cheesy, but the song is absolutely perfect.