So pretty much I'm typing into the standard "notepad" application that every computer comes with, but no one uses. We are too cheap to Microsoft word,
and I am too bugged to sit and figure out why the heck the stupid internet isn't working. Mason just left for school in the car, (our only car at the time)
With my regular laptop. If anything gets left in there during the day, say farewell cause you won't be seeing it. I am so bugged right now. If you are starting to see a pattern on my blog it's because I only write when I am a basket case, or mad. And I am the mad part of that right now.
I am going to rant on X-boxes.
and I am too bugged to sit and figure out why the heck the stupid internet isn't working. Mason just left for school in the car, (our only car at the time)
With my regular laptop. If anything gets left in there during the day, say farewell cause you won't be seeing it. I am so bugged right now. If you are starting to see a pattern on my blog it's because I only write when I am a basket case, or mad. And I am the mad part of that right now.
I am going to rant on X-boxes.
Why were those EVER created? I would like to know, what is SO enticing about mindlessly shooting someone, or pretending to be an NFL athlete and make plays for 4 hours straight? I mean REALLY?! I don't know how someone could feel fine about sitting and wasting their time and their brain cells on those loads of crap.
Mason wants to go to a "guys night" on Friday night. He pretty much wants to go play x-box until 7 am in the morning, pretending that there is no care in the world.What will I be doing? Probably the same things I do every normal weekday, taking care of Eamonn and lounging around the house waiting for Mason to come home.
I think I am the kind of Naggy wife who won't let her husband play xbox. I am one of THOSE wives. I bet Mace never thought I'd be when we were dating..
Oh well, he tricked me into a lot of things too, so I guess we're even.
But seriously.
Mace says that it is MY fault that I won't have anything to do because I don't have any hobbies. I tried to make an excuse for everything, blaming him for
being a mindless drone (which he is) but when I got to thinking about it, it IS true. I have no hobbies, no life. My life revolves around 2 things... work, and family. Mason asks why I don't like sewing, or scrapbooking. I'll tell you.. it's effing boring.
I'm not talented in that kind of crap. Everyone else may be, but I'm not. Ugh. So really, I need a hobby. I play the piano, and teach piano lessons,
but when Friday night rolls around and Mason wants to go to "Guys night"
I'm definitely not going to be playing piano for twelve hours. I teach piano lessons, and that is ok... but like I said, I'm not going to go do that until 7 am. It's fun, but it's not mindless fun.
Ugh. I am just pissed. I'm pissed too because I make $40 a month off piano lessons and guess where that goes? Bills. Yup. Bills. I would like to have my own money and tell Mason he can figure out where to get the stupid money for his precious, mindless phone and internet plan. See!? Another thing that he loves! What the hell!?
I guess it just bugs too that all of my friends have talent. Amanda has started a blog and is selling all of her sewing stuff on there, Chels just got her BACHELORES and is amazing at decorating even the simplest and homliest of places. My single friends are single, so they are hitting on guys and trying to get married. (Don't do it, it's boring. Unless you have talent, then I hear it's pretty cool...)
It's just like really? You bug that you are so ambitious and out there doing junk! Madi for hells sake just ran 60 mile marathon for breast cancer. I wish I was that cool! But what?! What can I do?! I feel almost.. what's the word? unworthy? no.. um, insecure. There we go, insecure. I feel like everything that could be cool I'm just not good at, someone is better, and honestly, after 12 minutes just gets boring.
I would like to cook, I do like to cook, let me rephrase, bake. Not cook, bake. I like to make sugary snacks, not the other junk. The other junk is a chore. But why is it that women like lame stuff like COOKING, SEWING, SCRAPBOOKING, etc? Psh. Lame. I wish I liked Xbox. I wish I could mindlessly drown my sorrows in make believe fantacies..
Like I said. Jealousy that Mason has that. I guess I could watch the hills for 8 hours straight? ha.
Maybe I will try alcohol. I would be able to get a way mentally and with a spritz of lime, I hear it aint to bad on the taste buds.. haha (totally kdding. I would probably do marijuana anyways.) ;)
I am however grateful to have a job. I really really really REALLY enjoy being able to work. That to me is such a blessing and I feel so challenged mentally. I did do school for a little while, but it just isn't in the cards for me.Maybe taking lessons of some sort?
But what?
And what can we afford?
I do see a therapist.. does that count?
Maybe sewing lessons at Joann's or something?
I'm jealous cause amanda has a gold's gym pass and goes and does raquetball and stuff over there..
Too bad poor people are lame.
Maybe I could play with some sticks. those are free. (pity me please. lol)
Good news though, Amanda AND madi are moving to Provo, so things might be easier to do together.
I need response to this post. I need Ideas, I need motivation.
Ex. One time, I saw cake pops, came up with the amazing idea of making them and selling them. Then I tried to make them. THey turned out all right, but were a pain to make. Then I decided, that was dumb.
Maybe I just lack ambition. Everything in life isn't fun right? But isn't that what a hobby is? fun?
I just looked back at Eamonn who was chattering away to himself, only to see that he has ripped off the arm of my snowman decoration and is doing who knows what with it. Ah well. I guess that's why I bought a plush snowman for 90% off, and that is also why there are hot glue guns.
Anyways. Please comment, give me some ideas and don't judge me!
Things I like to do:
- bargain shop
- bake
- be social
- eventually I would like to exercise.. lol that's pushing it though... I think with friends it might be easier...
- eating (completely contradictory to my previous brain storm idea)
- reading maybe?
- who the heck knows.
- sing (mediochre-lly)
love,
Laur
Hey, come hang out with me!
ReplyDeleteSometimes being a mom is a lonely job for me. I do scrapbook now though. I used to hate to scrapbook. I used to think it would be fun but when I'd sit to actually do it, I found it hectic and I didn't like the end result. I had collected a bunch of stuff but just got frustrated when I'd use it. I wasn't good at much either even though I liked being a mom. It's tough being a mom with small children. It just is!!!
I took some scrapbook classes and I enjoy things more now. I got "my hands on" experience and I like the results more now and it isn't so frustrating.
I do laundry to drama tv shows on Hulu.com. I am pretty boring but, sometimes...boring is beautiful. I love boring sometimes. I guess what I am saying is "Hang in there." It's tough but it's worth it even if it's not that exciting.
Now you have my boring little opinion. :) Makes you wanna come and hang out with me doesn't it? lol
talk mason into getting the kinect for the xbox for you for christmas. there are exercise and dance games that you actually MOVE to, not just pressing buttons, which i hate too. it does cost money of course, but ask mason and maybe some family to pitch in for that as your gift this year. It's fun, and it's exercise, your cute baby can do it with you, and it will get mason off it for a while.
ReplyDeleteummmmmmmmm dumb. Lauren whenever I'm talking to Haven about the kind of wife/woman/mother I want to be I ALWAYS mention you. Cause you're good at everything I am bad at lol. And it may seem like I'm super ambitious but in all honesty sometimes the pressure of making money off something you enjoy can start to take the fun out of it. :/ No me gusta. I know how you feel and what you mean though. It stinks being broke and feeling really limited by that. Things I think it would be fun to do...
ReplyDelete- Take a belly dancing/ pole dancing class
- Get together with the girls for a play date once a week and get together for zumba once a week too!
- Do an "easy recipe" share, where we swap recipes and all try them on the same night and see what we think lol.
- Do a sub-for-santa thing for Christmas instead of buying gifts for ourselves. Pick a family, learn about them, go in on a big christmas for them as friends
- Sew. Yes, shutup girl you like it and it is fun. You made a quilt for crying out loud!
- Smash all of our husband's x-boxes, video tape it, and post it on facebook. :D
I am so glad your friend Amanda mentioned pole dancing, I secretly really want to do that but wouldn't admit it to anyone because it felt "un-mormon" or something, lol! But seriously, I totally could have written this exact same thing on my blog, minus the x-box part (because we are too poor to have an x-box but if we did I KNOW my hubs would play it for hours too). I do the same exact thing you do, sit around at home taking care of Regan and waiting for Matt to get home because it is less boring with him around. I think scrapbooking could be fun for me, but its too expensive. I do really like Zumba and I was going for a while but now I can't seem to find a time when Matt is home to watch Regan because I feel like going to dance around for an hour isn't a good enough reason to ask someone else to watch my kid. It's tough, I am in the same boat and could really use a hobby as well. I think the flower and bow headbands for babies are adorable and THOUGHT they would be super easy to make, but I tried to make the bows and they looked like my baby made them herself and I can't find the stuff to make the flowers, so that hobby is out too. Blah, not having hobbies or money to buy hobbies stinks!
ReplyDeleteI like the smashing x-boxes comment by Amanda... :) My husband had an X-Box before we got married, but I told him it was me OR the X-Box. He sold it. Then bought another one 3 months later. He played so much that I almost threw it off the balcony and left him. So he sold it again for the sake of our marriage. Yes, I'm one of THOSE wives. But he still played ALL the time until all hours of the night. He would often try to start a fight just so he could "storm out" and go play X-Box until the next morning and not tell me where he was. Then he finally admitted that he was addicted to it and swore it off for good. Now he hasn't played in almost 2 months!! Mason's probably not as bad as that. But there is hope! Now we do more stuff together - it's nice. I don't really have any hobbies either. I like to watch TV shows on Hulu...? Can that be a hobbie? I'm pretty good at it :) Hang in there!! I love your blog and your honesty. You're amazing.
ReplyDeleteLauren! I think x-box is the devil...thankgoodness logan thinks so too! but what he doesn't think is the devil is any sport that happens to be on at the moment. And that is the devil to me too! haha men always have something that they love to do that we just don't understand. I can totally relate to how you feel. If I didn't work two day's a week I would go CRAZY! and i would probably go crazy if we didn't live with my inlaws, because I can always hang out with brooke or joy which is soooo nice. Sometimes just being alone with your child all the time is really hard. You love them to death, but it's still hard. You should look into Zumba though...I go once a week and it is my one thing for me. I totally look forward to it all week long and love it. you feel like a dork the first couple of times but then you get the hang of it...I know you would love it, cause you can shake that bootie! and zumba is all about shakin the bootie, why do you think i love it so much! I've got the junk in the trunk! It was made for us! haha. I miss you. I wish we lived closer so we could have dumb hobbies together and and hang out on those boring mom day's and rant about our cute husbands that we really do adore and love but can be so blah sometimes. it would be fun...but until then here are a few to bring you back to the good ole days...
ReplyDelete-Just eat raw...you'll get better
-We're so close we finish...eachother's sentances.
-I'll wrestle you for him
-Quiznos is so much better than subway
-you can shave your back now szeek
-tina you fat lard, come eat your dinner.
Loveyou laur
So, I decided to write this comment in notepad too! Man this program is ancient! lol!
ReplyDeleteI agree, X-boxes suck.
But as far as hobbies go, I don't have many suggestions. Mainly because I don't really have a hobby either. I don't have a sewing machine, I suck at decorating, I don't run (or exercise for that matter), I don't cook, I don't work, I have 2 kids, and even if I wanted to do any of these things, I don't have money to do it. I used to consider being social my hobby, having friends over, hanging out, letting our kids play, but no one EVER calls me to do anything - I always have to do the calling and usually everyone is busy. On top of that, everyone is moving to Provo, so it's even less likely I'll see anyone. Yep, that hobby is out. lol! Oh! Here's an idea for you. Phil said to come over and he will teach you about cars, and I'll babysit while you do it. :)
I like to cook too, maybe we should get together once a week and make freezable dinners for that week, that would be something. (then again, I'm not sure I could afford that lol! You're right, being poor is lame) I do know how to do some needle work stuff, but even though I enjoy it, it does get boring. You could reorganize your house, that takes some thinking and some time. You could get your motorcycle license and come ride our motorcycle. We found a site for some penny auctions, they are addicting and funny. I like to look on KSL at random things for sale (mostly houses cuz someday I'd like to get into a house). You could make your own movies, or write a book. You blog, that's a good hobby. You could become a hoarder and then when it gets bad enough we will call that t.v. show and get you help for it. Come up with new ideas for kids games/crafts and sell them online. Make your own soap. Make up new recipes for desserts out of whatever random stuff you have in your house. Learn to draw. Refinish your furnature or paint a wall. Do science projects, there are lots of free ideas online. Go volunteer. Ok, I'm out of ideas...lol!
I love you girl, good luck!
also have an xbox playing husband
ReplyDeletei dont really think its fair that he can do whatever whenever.and i have to stay home because Kaleb is napping.One thing i can occasionally do,that i never thought id like.but have ended up loving...
Shooting my shotgun. Last christmas my husband bought me a 20 gauge shotgun.and it is an AMAZING stress reliever and very fun.granted it can be a bit pricey.but my husband is all too happy to use our "fun fund" for ammo(he has a shotgun,3 handguns and a m4...)you can seriously borrow it whenever you want or have the time(you can even use the ammo, so its free :)) use it to destroy masons xbox,therapeutic no?
i also like amandas pole dancing idea.ive secrectly always wanted to try that.
I have also tried doing cake pops, way cute but sooo time consuming.i think it would be easier if i wasnt trying to do it alone. if you ever feel like attempting it again let me know.
other than that i usually feel like a talentless loser.most of my energy is used getting to the end of my day still partially sane.
I dont think this has been too helpful. i feel more empathetic towards your feelings than full of advice i guess.
im completely serious about the gun.:)
have a lovely day.
Lauren, I am so sorry you feel this way!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all - you are way undercharging for piano if you are only getting $40 a month. If you enjoy it so much have you considered getting more students and raising your prices? Let me know if you have any questions about it. I have 15 students right now and it is the best way to make money (and tax free!)
Second of all, I don't have to deal with X-box luckily but sports... He is obsessed. And he is never home because he is always at the library. Find time to do things that make you happy, even if that means finding someone to watch Eammon. Your happiness is way too important not to find what you love - even if it is something as dumb as basket weaving. I go to yoga- it is seriously the most stress relieving part of my week. Come try it with me!
Remember when I took that cake decorating class? I took it because I didn't want to end up like my mother in law. If you don't have something in your life other than Emmon, Mason, and work, you'll loose your marbles when your kids get married and you retire.
ReplyDeleteHere are my ideas for you:
-Library - there is so much good stuff out there to read, you just have to find it. You can borrow my Hunger Games books next time you're up here. Shelli and I both loved them, and I know you will too.
-Exercise/Cooking Classes - Ok, reality check here - EVERYONE is poor! It's a recession. But, invest money in yourself - be your own financial backer. Maybe you can't invest the money on yourself for school, but there are plenty of other ways to learn. Learning is the best hobby, because it's not an waste of time.
- Jewelry Making: Scrapbooking gets kind of lame because so often you just end up finishing it and putting it on the shelf. With jewelry making you get to wear it and tell people you made it, and get compliments on your work.
- Book Club: Social and learning. Fab. I really just wrote this because I want to have a book club, but am too lazy to start it. So you should do it for me. I think our friends have enough personalities to make this a REALLY interesting activity.
- Personal Time: give yourself an hour a day (or whenever you can get it) that you just have quiet time for yourself. Make Mason watch Emmon for an hour, i promise neither of them will die - and just do your own thing. Do your nails, take a bubble bath, give yourself a facial, read, journal, stare at the walls, it doesn't matter, but do something with yourself everyday to learn that IT'S OK TO DO SOMETHING POINTLESS, you're a hard worker, but you don't have to be doing something every.single.second.
-Take advantage of your mom. Let her watch Emmon for a couple of hours while you do whatever. Go wander around the store, get your nails done, or something stupid.
-Call your best friend. Cause you never do. he he, just kiddin.
I was going through all of these same emotions lately and I thought I'd share how I dealt with it. Elder Uchdorf just gave a really good talk in the last General Conference about not over scheduling our lives(OF THINGS THAT MATTER MOST). I found that when I was "over scheduling" my days, I was more prone to become frustrated with my kids and Husband, which was making my marriage kind of rough. But as I've made myself slow down and let somethings slide (dishes, vaccuming, straightening up toys...) and I LET MYSELF relax and enjoy my kids, I have become less stressed and I have been able to enjoy my husband again. He still does things that irritate me but I've taken the time to explain my frustrations to him instead of holding it all inside. We are both at a time in our lives where our Husbands aren't home much because they are going to school and working to provide for our families. It gets lonely and frustrating at times being home all alone with the kids and it seems like we never get a break. And when our husbands are home they want us to take care of THEM too!!! But I've come to realize that for Cameron, Sunday Night Football is his ONE break from school and work. It is the only thing he does for himself. He works for our family and he goes to school for our family and when he gets home at 9pm he's too exhausted to change diapers or stay up with a crying baby. For me, I have decided that MY job, at this point in my life and marriage, is to take care of the kids and house so that my Husband can focus on work and school and he can come home and relax from the stresses of life. That doesn't excuse him from helping when he can, but I don't expect him to come home and take over everything for me.
ReplyDeleteI suggest talking to Mason about how you're feeling and maybe putting a time limit on how long he play's X-Box. I hope everything works out for you guys. I love you Laur.
Ummmm I LOVE your blog
ReplyDeleteLAURRRRRRR I jsut discoverd you have a Blog! My goal for new years is to start one.. we'll see hwo that goes.. it would also probably be all rants! Im sorry you are bored... I liked the book club idea... (usually they end up being peopel who maybe read half the book but get together for the social time)
ReplyDeleteALSO.. I LOVE shoooting guns!! maybe I should become an american.. I was totally scared and weirded out at first, but it is the greatest stress relief ever, you should def. borrow rachels gun and shot things...
ALSO I am taking a pole dancing class in January with my christian g-friend who thinks Im the least likely to judge her for it ( I dont know what that says about me)Adrian is so excited and cant wait til were married so I can show him my "skills" :S ALSO... Adrian playes playstation 3 aallllllllll the time.. youre right.. tis totlly retarded, but we madde a compromise, if he learns to ski or snowboard, I will learn to shoot fake zombiies... so I have been learning and I TOTALLY SUCK! because there are too many buttons but... I am still trying and actually we have had soem really fun quality time together and he is really patient with my poor zombie killing skills... and its something we can laugh about. If youre really really bored you could come on a road trip to canada...I MISS YOU! Also being poor totally sucks! But I guess we all do it.. just think of the poor un jesus lovers who married later in life and have to start all of this at liek 30.. at least by 30 you and I should semi have our crap together???
HAHAHA!!
I LOVE YOU LAUR!!!
LOVE,
LAUR!
lauren! mommy hood is alittle boring huh? tyler often doesn't get that. i think he secretly wants to trade places for a day, and i would welcome that! have a reason to get up and put makeup on evvvveryday would be a nice change :) The thing about men is, they have to have terms. If they don't, they become lap dogs, and therefore no more attractive to us! For tyler is..snowmobiling. I for the life of me cannot figure out why he's spend thousands of dollars on something that it's main purpose is to be away from us??? but...i also know, that i don't want to take away his manhood from him.and his whole life is about working and school. it's like him looking over my shoulder when im trying to cook dinner, or telling ME how to unload the dish washer! haha
ReplyDeletei started working out. i made a spot for it in my basement, i bought a cheap ball, and dungbells, and an old school radio! (oh and i convinced my mom that she needed to gift me her old treadmil for my sanity) and now, nap time is my heaven. i get to focus on myself for an hour a day. i'm happier. even if i only do a few lunges, and some crunches!! it doenst matter, because i feel better about myself.
I hope that you can feel satisfied with life soon! and i hope you find a hobby! (i hate sewing and scrapbooking ps! haha)
oh and your friend alice, i needed that. to know that someone else out there has realized that their job is home and family. i was really being hard on tyler that he wasn't helping enough with things, reminding us to pray ect. and i realized, that i can handle that job for a little while, until his life isn't loaded with work!!
"Oh well, he tricked me into a lot of things too, so I guess we're even."
ReplyDeleteholy crap you crack me up.
I love the very honest post. I am no good at most anything crafty, but it doesn't mean i don't kid myself into thinking "I could totally that." especially when I'm with crafty people because things always turn out better when you are with people that are actually good at stuff. Nonetheless, i can totally relate. sometimes i feel totally talentless. We should hang out and be hobby-less together. I LoVe bargain shopping too-probably because that's what poor people do. Funny enough, that's how i've obtained the stuff to non-craft with. :)