So I've had such an amazing breakthrough. Wowsers. I almost feel like typing it out isn't going to be enough. I wish I could just download everything I just remembered to everyone else instead of having to go through the extremely tedious process of me typing and you reading. But the funny thing is, that is exactly what this post is about.
I have been doing a lot of processing and a lot of work on integrating my body and spirit. Even as a small child, I have felt my body to be so confining! It's like.. GEEZE! I have so much to do and so much to share and so much to see! I just want to be there NOW! I want to be everywhere at once! I don't want to be contained in such an "inadequate" vessel.
Ok. So there is so much I want to share. I don't even know where to start. A lot of times, I get like this, and then I just get so frustrated that I don't even start because there's so much I want to share and express and words just aren't enough. I want others to feel what I'm feeling! I want others to feel how amazing I feel and to feel the passion and love that is seriously oozing from every piece of me! 'alskdjf a;df Until we rediscover how to talk telepathically, I guess this is the best way to get everything out.
So A huge belief that I have been carrying that I just realized that I have been carrying, is that carnality is bad and That the body is evil. It's so contrary! We are taught to love and care for our bodies, yet, we are taught that carnality is evil and that Adam fell into sin, and that we need to be spiritual beings instead of carnal beings. Well, I'm here to tell you that that's a load of shit. Well, I'm actually here to tell you that I have taken this belief to an unbelievable extreme (which is something I excel greatly at.. haha) and that the way I have seen it, and the way that others might be seeing it, is not truth. SO when I say that's a load of shit, I mean to say, the way that I have personally been perceiving it has not been truth and has been causing a lot of pain and frustration for me. Again, I am taking responsibility for my perception, Not for yours on what you think I am saying.
So here is an outline of how I have been seeing the whole "Plan of Salvation" (an LDS belief if you are personally not aware of the LDS religion).
We chose to come to earth to experience life
Adam came first, and he and Eve made a horrible choice, and Sinned. This was the first ever sin and they became carnal, sinful, mortal beings.
Because Adam and Eve weren't good enough (or the entire human race) and because they were so sinful, God had to send down his perfect child to save us all from our disgusting state.
God's perfect child has saved us from our horribleness and only through his perfect child, can we have a relationship with him.
In order to get back to God, we have to NOT be human beings and deny ourselves of carnality and just be spiritual beings.
So in a nut shell, that Is how I saw all of this. IT'S PRETTY CRAZY RIGHT!?
So in order for me NOT to be imperfect, disgusting, and carnal, I decided to avoid all carnality, and to live in my brain. To analyze everything first, to not make any mistakes and not to experience emotions and human-ness because it is such a horrible, disgusting state of be-ing. SO horrible in fact, that God doesn't even want to be on the same planet as us! So horrible that he had to send a mediator and sent a perfect being to save us. So I denied my body. I decided to live in my head and not in my heart. I decided to cut off all emotions and connections to other humans.
Today, I realized that for me, this belief that carnality is horrible and that being human is such a sin, is no longer working for me.
Today, I realized that Christ is the PERFECT example of embracing carnality and loving and honoring this human experience!
So this is now how I see "The Plan of Salvation"
I was with God and I am God. I am a piece of Him, I am his Child. Therefore, I am God. I am a God. I am a spirit being. I am perfect. My soul is God. (Kinda deep, but bear with me. Remember that all of this stuff has been a lot of study and a lot of learning for me. It might be a lot to just hear for the first time. I know it was for me when I first remembered this..)
As a God, I gained a lot of awesome knowledge and intelligence, but it got to a point that knowledge just wasn't enough. Knowledge was awesome, but I wanted more. I wanted EXPERIENCE. And the only way to experience, was to put on a human body that could feel pain, and pleasure, and emotions!
So, As a God, I chose to lower my vibration and take on "imperfection". To take on a human body that could actually experience, rather than just have knowledge.
As a God, I chose what lessons I wanted to learn in life. I chose what experiences I wanted to go through in order to help me grow and progress. I chose what family lines I wanted to go into, I chose my parents, my siblings, and basically everything I am experiencing now, I chose. I chose what "Quarks" I wanted to take on. I chose to live in my brain, I chose to go through abuse, I chose to abuse, I chose all that was necessary for me to learn what I am "remembering" now. (I say remembering because I already know everything.. I just want to experience that now and that isn't possible without forgetting everything first.. but I will get to that/)
As a God, I chose to forget all that I had previously chosen. I chose to put on a "veil of forgetfulness" in order to actually be human, and EXPERIENCE. I chose to experience pain and sorrow, happiness and joy, and I chose to feel. You see, emotions are purely human. They are a carnal thing. It's so funny because what we have chosen to experience, we are actually denying. We chose to experience pain and emotions, but now that we are here, we are trying to deny all of that and avoid all of that! What if emotions were actually really, really amazing?! What if Pain just is an experience, no better or worse than pleasure?! And we have just forgotten all of this?
So, that brings me back to what carnality actually is. Carnality is to be "imperfect". Carnality is to feel and experience what is so uniquely human. Sex! Pleasure! Smelling the flowers! Falling down and scraping your knees! Walking across burning hot coals! Kissing your kids! Feeling the anger that wells up inside of you when your kids spill toilet water all over the bathroom floor! Feeling the sorrow of losing someone close to you! Feeling the rage of the person that cuts you off on the freeway! Feeling the caress of a sweet husband, showing his love to you through physical touch! Feeling the sadness of Messing up and yelling at someone you love! All of this, is carnality. All of this is soo soo wonderful. We wouldn't have chosen into it, if it wasn't so wonderful!
And that, is where Christ comes into this for me. Before, I saw Christ as someone who came here to save me from all that I was doing wrong. Now I am realizing that I am doing nothing wrong. I am living. I am experiencing! And that Is so perfect! Christ came here to show us that even taking on everyone's pain, is actually a great thing! He showed me that pain is just an experience. He lived in a body and chose to come and learn with us because it is actually super awesome. He felt every pain, but I wonder if that's all we focus on. Do you think that maybe he felt all of our pleasures, too? Do you think that he was Godly because he was able to feel connected to all of us at once, like God does? Do you think that he was showing us the way? That we too, can experience pain and pleasure and emotions and still live? And still remember that we are actually spirit beings, coming here for experience? Do you think he came to show us that we are not our bodies, and that we are so much more than our experiences?
Wow. That is so enlightening for me.
If you have taken offense to any of this, I am sorry you have chosen that. I challenge every person reading this, to actually question this! See what exactly bothers you so much, and why? Why does the belief that we are God's bother you? Why does the belief that sin is just experience, bother you? Being bothered is JUST information. Dig deeper. Embrace it. See if this idea works for you! See if Christ is so much more than we realized! See if your carnality is actually something to be embraced!
Spirituality is awesome. I LOVE spirituality. But we ARE spirit beings. We are naturally spiritual because we ARE spirit. But we AREN'T our bodies. Our bodies are just an amazing tool to help us progress. We are NOT our experiences. We ARE children of God. We ARE Spirit beings. There is definitely a balance between spirituality and carnality. Embrace them both.
Love and Light to you all!!!!!
xoxox
Lauren
